I quit fishing after one day. I was tired of all the heat, travel and all the boredom it takes to get one stinking fish. I understand that fishing will always have its audience of middle-aged men but what I don’t understand is why fishing doesn’t try to appeal to a younger demographic. It sucks and it sucks bad for me. I want fishing to be a little animated, something that is more engaging and practical. So why can’t there be a fishing competition where you replace the old rod with your mouth?
You may think this is a crazy idea but if Steve-o from Jackass tried to fish with sharks why can’t I? Steve-o is an inspiration to all the little boys and girls out there and what he does in Jackass shows that he is clearly a smart man. The only thing that wasn’t so smart is that he did it with sharks which are too heavy and big to bring onto a boat with your mouth. So I thought I should modify his vision.
Fishing with your mouth is a relaxing and physical exercise simultaneously. You get to swim with the fishes while you feel the relaxation of cool water over your body. It is somewhat invigorating when you feel like you are one with nature before your primitive instincts kick in as you bite a fish with your sharp teeth and let the blood dilute the water. It’s like an extreme sport. Can you imagine the sponsorships? A tie in V-energy drinks and Piranha 3DD the movie.
Fishing with your mouth can also boost your oral hygiene. If you happen to have ulcers, scars, and sores in your mouth you can wash it way with salt water in your mouth constantly. If you have cotton mouth and you have nothing around you rub some salt water into it. If you want to fish with your mouth you gain your daily supplement of omega 3 that’s for sure and hell, if you want your significant other to shut up you can throw him underwater if you want.
Who in the hell would want to pass up this opportunity? The fishing industry will gain more participants, events will come up and you get to be one with the animals (before you eat them alive of course)